Well, it's official... I am no longer pregnant.
lol, let me explain.
This week I had my six-week post-partum appointment with my doctor. As much as I've been looking forward to this appointment, I was also dreading it for a few reasons.
1> I was incredibly terrified of how much it would hurt to be "examined" post-baby/post-delivery. Recovery hasn't been the easiest thing for me, and I was really scared that being examined would ruin all the progress my body and.. cough cough (downstairs) has made; and the exam would put me back to day 1 post-baby, aka incredible amounts of pain. However, much thanks to my amazing doctor as always - the exam took 5-6 minutes and I was all done! It did hurt a little but my doctor was cracking jokes the whole time to take my mind off of it (hence, another reason why I love him).
2> Another reason I was nervous about today was because it was a reality check that my "newborn" isn't so new afterall. Six weeks down. S I X W E E K S guys. I feel like just yesterday he was a couple days old. Time flies when you're having fun, but let me tell you - time travels at the speed of light when you have a baby. As much as I love seeing Gunner grow into his own each day, it also breaks my heart to know my baby is growing so fast. And that I am official HALF way through my maternity leave. That's all I can say on that topic, because the thought alone of going back to work causes a meltdown right now. But yes, it's already been six weeks since my little 6 lb bambino was born.
3> Post-partum appointment means post-pregnancy, means I am officially DONE being pregnant. No more appointments every month with my dr, no more exams, no more ultrasounds, no more planning for the baby or planning for all those post-baby appts (me and him), no more... being pregnant. This long & beautiful journey has officially come to an end.
When I left the dr's he said "okay that's a wrap! back to the normal routine of yearly exams, so I'll see you next year for your pap! good luck!" And that was it. I honestly teared up a little because I'll miss coming into the dr's every month for updates on my little one, seeing the other pregnant women there and talking about our babies.. and truth be told, I'll miss being pregnant. Even truer, I already do. It sounds crazy I'm sure to some of you, but pregnancy is like a big scary roller coaster - it's got lots of ups and down and is really scary and stressful at times, but as soon as the rides over you realize how amazing it was and want to do it again. That's where I'm at. I'm not saying I'm ready to jump back on that ride, TRUST ME, I've got my hands full with Gunner boy and am MORE than happy with this new journey of motherhood, but yes, I'll miss being pregnant as well. You spend almost one year on this incredible journey and your body, your hormones, your APPETITE (oh yes, I already miss it being acceptable to eat everything I want at all times) - your whole world really does change, and it's a whole other adjustment once it's over to get back to the "normal" you. & That is where I'm at now. Trying to refind the "not pregnant roya" - But luckily, on this journey of getting back to that - I have an incredibly beautiful little boy to accompany me. And I now have a whole new rollercoaster I've gotten on, motherhood. I can already tell this ride will be the most amazing ride yet<3
PS - I also got back on birth control this week - so please excuse this incredibly emotional post. hormones, gotta love 'em!
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